If I had any clue what the story was about, I'd help you out...and I'd offer right now to give you extra feedback if you wanted to wait to post...but I kinda suck at feedback that isn't grammatical or flaily with keysmash.

Not possible, but Okay, then I take it back. It will not be epic. It's just going to be average ol' Miz level awesome. That help any? ;)