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I'm Not Okay (I Promise)
Mar. 23rd, 2013 11:05 pmWell, I haven't spent much time on LJ or DW in... I don't know how long. It's kind of sad that the thing that brings me back is because I need to rant and I don't want to take it to Tumblr.
MCR is over. I can't say I've been there since the beginning. I was limited in my musical depth until Blink 182 somehow led me to FOB who led to Panic! and so many other bands, but even then, I held some weird distinction where MCR was not my thing until I got pulled - kicking and screaming and backwards - into bandom and fell a little bit in love with Frank Iero and his stupid fucking giggle. MCR was a recent thing, compared to Panic!, FOB, and Blink. I still adore them though. I'm glad I got to see them, more than once. MCR led to me meeting so many fantastic people in person (including one of my very closest friends in the entire world chellealistic [LJ]). For that alone, I'm always going to be thankful. Maybe that's why it's so upsetting. It's the memories.
It's always the memories that get you, in the end.
It feels like a PERSONAL break up. I remember it feeling this way when Blink 182 broke up (when we all couldn't dare to hope they would mend those fences), when FOB went on "indefinite hiatus" (when we all assumed that was them pandering to us and trying to avoid backlash by using the term "break up"), when Panic! split in two (when Brendon and Spencer were struggling so much with an album that we all started to doubt they'd ever finish and worried the short-lived TYV would be the only thing left from the divorce), and when TAI disbanded (when William going solo was never a guarantee).
It felt exactly like this. But we all got through it. There were tears and moments of weirdly acute sadness. There were discussions of how we'd never find music we liked again, how we'd never connect that wholly with another band. Maybe we didn't, not really, and maybe we won't. Maybe we'll always have old albums and concert stories that stand out as some of the greatest things we've ever experienced. Maybe we'll move on to fun. and Neon Trees, The Lumineers and Cartel and love them and everything about them, but hold a place of sadness about what used to be, about MCR and the glory days of old.
Maybe this will be a Blink 182 situation, and one day, they'll be back. Out of no where we'll have rumors of a reunion and a twitter announcement that they're trying but no promises. Maybe we'll have kids who will be into annoying pop psuedo-bands who will mock us for going to a reunion show and acting like teenagers for a band that meant so much to us but championed the title "emo" like a badge before "hipster" was a thing and those kids were even born.
Probably, we'll move on, in that way you always move on when someone you loved walks out of your life. It will always be there, but the pain will slide into fond nostalgia. We'll get there. Some day. It is not this day, but I promise you, the whole fandom will get there.
It may be a cliche but: Keep running; We'll carry on.
MCR is over. I can't say I've been there since the beginning. I was limited in my musical depth until Blink 182 somehow led me to FOB who led to Panic! and so many other bands, but even then, I held some weird distinction where MCR was not my thing until I got pulled - kicking and screaming and backwards - into bandom and fell a little bit in love with Frank Iero and his stupid fucking giggle. MCR was a recent thing, compared to Panic!, FOB, and Blink. I still adore them though. I'm glad I got to see them, more than once. MCR led to me meeting so many fantastic people in person (including one of my very closest friends in the entire world chellealistic [LJ]). For that alone, I'm always going to be thankful. Maybe that's why it's so upsetting. It's the memories.
It's always the memories that get you, in the end.
It feels like a PERSONAL break up. I remember it feeling this way when Blink 182 broke up (when we all couldn't dare to hope they would mend those fences), when FOB went on "indefinite hiatus" (when we all assumed that was them pandering to us and trying to avoid backlash by using the term "break up"), when Panic! split in two (when Brendon and Spencer were struggling so much with an album that we all started to doubt they'd ever finish and worried the short-lived TYV would be the only thing left from the divorce), and when TAI disbanded (when William going solo was never a guarantee).
It felt exactly like this. But we all got through it. There were tears and moments of weirdly acute sadness. There were discussions of how we'd never find music we liked again, how we'd never connect that wholly with another band. Maybe we didn't, not really, and maybe we won't. Maybe we'll always have old albums and concert stories that stand out as some of the greatest things we've ever experienced. Maybe we'll move on to fun. and Neon Trees, The Lumineers and Cartel and love them and everything about them, but hold a place of sadness about what used to be, about MCR and the glory days of old.
Maybe this will be a Blink 182 situation, and one day, they'll be back. Out of no where we'll have rumors of a reunion and a twitter announcement that they're trying but no promises. Maybe we'll have kids who will be into annoying pop psuedo-bands who will mock us for going to a reunion show and acting like teenagers for a band that meant so much to us but championed the title "emo" like a badge before "hipster" was a thing and those kids were even born.
Probably, we'll move on, in that way you always move on when someone you loved walks out of your life. It will always be there, but the pain will slide into fond nostalgia. We'll get there. Some day. It is not this day, but I promise you, the whole fandom will get there.
It may be a cliche but: Keep running; We'll carry on.
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